Wherever I go There I Am

“Emotional paralysis is an energy-depleting, soul-crushing combination of anxiety, depression, fear of the future, rumination over the past, and an all-consuming guilt.”

I just call it my coffin. But its actually the couch. It feels like my safety because I can snuggle up with a blanket and the TV and forget my drama by watching someone else’s drama. It’s also my death sentence because after I’m done with my chores for the day, I just sit there, with the TV and my phone trying to distract myself from MYSELF and my own thoughts… I am so mean.

But I am stuck there, paralyzed. I try to figure a way out of this mess im in, away from my own emotional abuse but just as I begin to formulate some sort of plan I feel the crush of self doubt and it slips away. Day after day. Its my groundhogs day. My own personal Hell.

How do I stop though? I can’t get away from myself. Wherever I go, there I am…


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