Did you dim the lights?

The lights are not the only thing that are being fucked with in my life. Everything has been so strange for so long I dont even know what is real and what is not at this point. I just know I have to find enough of these festering falsehoods before I dare take a step in any direction. How can I know which way safety is when I can’t trust the floor won’t fall out from under me?

Its not even about what its about. Its the actual act of him pulling the rug out from under me about everything big and small over and over every day. Trying to convince me that what I saw or know or said or heard or felt didn’t just happen. Its the blinding dizziness that comes with feeling unmoored from reality and not even knowing why its being done to you… I cannot take this any more. My brain cannot stand this. Its like my mind is being torn in two for no other reason but to do it!

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